Every Pride Month, my social media algorithm explodes with in-fighting about who is allowed or included in Pride. If leather daddies are there repping kink, is it still family-friendly? If polyam folks want in under the Pride umbrella, does that open the door for more straight people at Pride events? At what cost? Are kink and polyamory chosen experiences or parts of one’s identity? Does the answer change how welcome someone is during Pride Month?

What if that want, that ache in your body, that electric flicker in your chest when you picture letting go isn’t wrong at all? What if that’s a clue? A doorway into something deeper: your nervous system’s desire to feel safe and free, to trust yourself in the places we don’t talk about in “polite society.” To stop prioritizing everyone else’s comfort and start coming home to your own.

For people-pleasers, survivors, and anyone raised in environments where sexuality was off-limits or tightly controlled, the idea of wanting something, especially something bold, loud, or outside the lines can trigger deep fear.